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If we receive a steady diet of media that portrays illicit sex as the norm, it is easy to get the impression that “boys will be boys.” How a woman reacts to her husband using pornography is based in part on what she believes healthy sexuality and relationships should look like in the first place.

So, what if, just for a minute, we asked ourselves how our relationships look if we didn’t live in a pornified culture.

“The type of pornography that’s available now was never available in human history,” says Dr. “If you can get on a 50-inch HD television a picture of a woman engaging in a sexual act, the brain’s not wired to expect that kind of thing, because there aren’t women who have 50-inch-HD-TV bodies out there.” Even the tabloids show us that the so-called picture perfect women can’t possibly compete with fantasy.

Why would Tiger Woods cheat on his swimsuit-model-wife Elin Nordegren?

Shelli remembers well the day her husband John called her up to confess his secret obsession with pornography.

Years of guilt, shame, and wasted time had finally taken its toll on John, and the emotional dam broke. “It took me by complete surprise,” she says, “I didn’t have any clue that it was even an issue.” But after the shock came the hurt.

Manning, “how many times I encounter derogatory beliefs about this group of women, beliefs that dismiss the magnitude of the issue and the legitimacy of it, by framing them as pathological, overreacting, and frigid women who need to lighten up. ’” Some women, in fact, have “lightened up.” Not all wives react negatively to their husbands using pornography.

Ana Bridges from University of Arkansas’ psychology department says in her own research she has met many women who have justified their husbands’ behavior.

Others train their minds to expect variety: many images, many women, many physical types.

“All guys look at porn.” “It’s better than him having an affair.” “At least he’s not always coming to me to get his needs met.” Bridges labels these rationalizations as “permission-giving beliefs:” things we tell ourselves that make certain behaviors seem normal or healthy.

Ironically, it is pornography that often teaches and reinforces these beliefs in the first place.

Why would Peter Cook spend ,000 on Internet porn when he could come home to Christie Brinkley?

Why would Charlie Sheen be drawn to a digital harem, being married to Denise Richards?

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